By Pandora – It has been an intriguing couple of weeks. The friends-with-benefits thing seems to be working well, or maybe what you currently have is bordering along the lines of a situationship? Either way, it has ALL the makings of an AMAZING relationship. You just have not gotten around to that follow-up discussion as yet, but who needs to revisit such things when EVERYTHING has evolved so organically anyways?
It is hard to pinpoint the exact moment it all began, but you started having deeper feelings for him, you started wanting more from him, and so far, he’s delivered.
Ladies, I am sure some of you can relate. The guy in question is the ideal guy with whom you are not in a traditional relationship but have somewhat of an understanding, or maybe the parameters of your engagement are too complicated to explain, but it’s pretty simple when it’s just you and him.
Let us not confuse this situation with a Sneaky Link/ Booty Call. You are not THAT type of female. With you, he is way more attentive, you guys have meaningful conversations, your levels of intimacy are relationship goals inspirational, and you may even be acquainted with each other’s friends and, in some instances, family.
If your feelings, for him, have changed, his most certainly has, right?
WRONG
That guy is still NOT interested in getting involved in a relationship with you. If he were, he would have initially offered you one instead of whatever you guys currently have going on.
It is most shocking indeed. Why does he appear to be unable to experience the changes, in the situationship, at the rate you are? How can he be the perfect boyfriend/man/spouse and still not consider you as someone to be claimed? It does not make any sense.
The unpopular truth is quite a cliché Men are logical beings, while women are emotional beings.
SIMPLE
The guy, in this case, is pretty comfortable in his current predicament. The female, in this situation, is in an endless cycle of trying to prove that she is his ideal mate. So she usually perfects the duality of providing minimum drama while ensuring the highest possible levels of excitement.
What man would not find contentment in a situation like that?
Imagine, while his peers are complaining, he may be the lucky recipient of Snapchat-worthy meals, and Pornhub-type sex, with a sprinkle of little to no arguments.
That most definitely sounds like a very viable option, LOGICALLY.
Likewise, it is a consensus that most women work harder to get a man than they do to keep him, but that is another discussion altogether.
Let us touch on how some females are prone to creating illusions detrimental to their mental wellbeing.
Ladies, not because your situationship starts to feel as if it is more than what it IS means that it is more than what it is.
The Rules-of-Engagement did not magically change because you allowed your emotions to get the better of you. It may sound cruel, but whichever direction you may imagine this newfound relationship to be heading may be a fragment of your overactive imagination and may have nothing to do with what the guy has or has not done.
Let us test this theory
Side note, this is only applicable for women in this current situation.
If you are in a defined relationship i.e. one where the question was asked, and a consensus was met, this is NOT for you, but if you are not quite sure where your relationship stands, do one simple thing.
ASK
“What are we?” Or “How would you define what we have?”
If he starts stuttering or laughing, it simply means that he does not have a long-term plan for you or the situationship.
If he says any variation of: “Let’s see where this goes.”
It may mean that you are just a fill-in until a better option, or situationship, comes along.
Whatever the outcome, of your discussion, you owe it to yourself to make the best possible decision for you because he has already made his.