Setting Ourselves Up for a World of Hurt

Romantic relationships…. Ah yes, that which seems to be most problematic these days. You might be hard pressed to find a person that doesn’t have some relationship horror stories. Though, if we’re honest, we’re responsible for a lot of our own relationship horror stories. Granted, there is the occasional hood winkery. However we still have a large part to play in our own horror stories.

It is rather difficult to fathom that anyone would enjoy emotional torture wrought on them by someone who they love, or indeed who professes to love them.

So then, how might we go about avoiding this crucible of romance?

Well, for starters a little introspection and honesty with ourselves would go a long way. A good bit of hurt comes from getting into relationships for the wrong reason. Imagine if you will you meet a young man or young woman, you get it on. When the act is done the question; “So what are we?” or some other variant comes up. This is a classic example of putting the cart before the horse. It is always better to establish whether you’re entering into a relationship or just a good time before the act. Doing this post act can lead to an argument, especially if the other party says “Just friends.”. Indeed the other party may feel some pressure to ask some tom foolery like “What do you want us to be?“. Half the time this can be taken to mean that he or she is cool with whatever direction this goes, though not fully interested or vested in the venture. The other half of the time the individual could just be trying to play it cool. Do you want to take that gamble?

Now had you both been honest with yourselves and each other and not jumped to sex, you might have found out that either of you or both of you were just interested in a good time. Or, that your interests did not line up.

I have found that a good way to navigate relationships is to just be straight up, yes, sometimes it can be a bit brutal. But isn’t a little bit of pain now worth saving yourself from a lot of pain and time wasted later? Another good tip would be to treat people the way you’d want them to treat you.

Until next time.